BarkBox is like Santa Claus, except a Santa Claus that has a muscular stature, god like cheek bones, and a slick side parting that implies “we got this under control girl.”

And BarkBox really does

BarkBox is a subscription service where you pay a monthly fee as low as $19 and receive a mystery package with four or more carefully selected products and presents for your dog – anything from toys, bones and all-natural treats to hygiene products and innovative new gadgets.

The odds are against us

According to my research Max has liked 0.000096 of the treats and gifts I have bought him in 5 years. I therefore calculated there would be a 0.000000001 chance that Max would like BarkBox.

My math doth deceive me

BarkBox kindly sent us a free sample package. Here is what Max has to say about BarkBox and the 100% Rabbit Jerky he found inside…

If you don’t speak this particular Welsch dialect that Max was overcome by, he’s saying: “How great is thy food that doth leave at my doorstep.”

Max has devoured or played with everything in the package which included:

1. Pure Power Super Food Protein Dog Treats with CRICKET FLOUR

Give me the crickets woman

YES CRICKET FLOUR and Max LOVED these. Which makes sense as once at the park he ate a pork rib with 1 million ants crawling over it. These organic, non GMO Pure Power Super Food Protein Dog Treats smell fab (like honey and rainbows), and are super high in protein due to the crickets which are apparently a super sustainable and earth-friendly form of food.

(I am not gonna lie, I was totally grossed out by the thought of these at first, but I am definitely gonna buy these again coz Max loved them so much and they are organic.)

2. HARE OF THE DOG 100% Rabbit Jerky

Max devoured the 100% rabbit jerky in seconds and the fun didn’t end there. He is currently tearing up the paper from the packaging. These natural, hand made treats contain no artificial crapola which make Maxipoo, his sensitive stomach and our noses very happy.

3. P.L.A.Y Butterfly Toy

That’s a strange looking doggy

Finally. A toy that is washable! This little butterfly toy is filled with a squeaker and the answer to all of life’s questions. And wait there’s more. 2% of all proceeds go towards IFAW.org (International Fund for Animal Wellness) who are tryna raise the awareness of endangered bugs. Amazing.

4. Loopies Toys TINY TEACUP TOYS Turtle

Max only plays with two toys. A monkey and a ball. I am excited that we can now add a Loopies Toys orange turtle to his collection. This plush turtle has a squeaker inside to remind us that turtles have voices too. It’s also the perfect size for Max’s tiny mouth.

I HIGHLY recommend BarkBox for the following reasons:

1) It makes you try new things that your dog may loveeeee, such as crickets…

2) It reignites the sense of surprise and mystery in your life that ended when Dawson’s Creek got cancelled.

3) It’s ridiculously fun.

What’s the last bark about BarkBox?

My work is done here

Max is currently sprawled out on the couch in a deep sleep after eating a variety of BarkBox dog treats for the above photoshoot. However, he would write the following if he would stop napping during work hours:

“BarkBox, let’s hang out and get to really know one another. I like you. You like me. I think this could really go somewhere great.”

I believe that says it all. Thanks BarkBox for bringing us Christmas early at the I Am Vancouver Dog office. You totally made our day.

The End.

PS. If you like funny stuff, check out BarkBox’s social media sites, their posts are frickin’ hilarious.